2003-11-19 - 11:12 p.m.

i felt like crap sunday. i doubted my life choices, i was daunted by my fast-approaching birthday, i was stuck in a blue funk. couldn't paint. couldn't write. couldn't sleep. what's a girl to do?

first, i punted my needlessly complicated birthday plans and told all my favorite people to meet me at a bar i love. then i came up with a restructuring for my financial life. then i ordered new sheets, abused the elliptical trainer at my gym, ate an egg sandwich, and went to my studio. finally finished that goddamned painting. finally sold those f*cking machines.

sometime in the middle of the afternoon, blowing over some miles davis in my guitar lesson, i realised i was actually smiling. definitely the first time in several days. i smiled all the way to my brother's house, smiled all the way through another thrilling episode of my favorite program (The OC), smiled through the rain so brightly it hailed me a cab home.