2005-08-14 - 11:19 p.m.

because you didn't seem to mind that i was crying
and didn't want to give me the right phone numbers
i walked back in the rain
turquoise and pale,
soaking wet, i ducked into the bar
where Ben gave me a cranberry juice
and some towels
and old lovers admired my damp cleavage in the dark

secretly, later, i cried alone

i don't remember exactly how it got this way
i only know i'm always missing you
especially when you're here
and the closer i get, the more awkward i feel
every minute wishing there was one minute more
wanting you to stay
and hoping (to God?) that you won't

i always know the sound of your engine
stopping in front of my door