2005-11-07 - 8:30 a.m.

it's very very important to know who one's friends are. this weekend, i had an opportunity to find out. sadly, this information was delivered to me via a failed collaborative art project. my personal relationship to my collaborator has often been a dramatic one, full of inspiration and joy but also disappointment and misunderstanding. most recently, the latter has been predominant. i'd been limiting my personal interactions with him for this reason, communicating only when strictly necessary. but as we travelled to boston to present our project, it became clear that far too little communication had taken place.

i've come to see my collaborator as the type of person who holds so much unexpressed passion and rage that it actually leaks onto other people around him. he accused me of violence when i'd never so much as touched him. in the end, after much discussion, i sent him back to new york and completed the project by myself. and cried the whole train ride home, feeling abandoned and alone. there is an ironic note to this as well: the project was mentioned in the boston globe under the heading "art gets angry". i initially felt this was an incorrect assessment of the work, but now i see that anger suffused this project whether i realised it or not.

on the plus side, i also got to see this weekend who really cares about me. i'm prone to dial all my friends for support when i'm in the middle of a meltdown, and b, f, g, l, and z all offered supportive words and listened to me vent my disappointment over the phone. l and z encouraged me to complete the project myself, and helped me feel as though i could. f even came by my house with takeout sushi when i arrived back at home. b offered to deal cartoon violence to my collaborator and promised to take me to piano karaoke this week.

a shame too, because heading into the weekend i was in such a fantastic mood. my cold had faded to a dull roar and y took me to the wmfu record fair and out to the movies on friday. i found a few of the records on my most wanted list, mostly for about $3 each. the record fair was so incredibly vast that i had to concentrate on filling in only one facet of my collection, the new wave records. they were the cheapest and easiest to locate anyway.

• speaking in tongues talking heads
  
  
• manifesto roxy music
  
  
• in the name of love / in the beginning / coastline thompson twins
  
  
• is there something i shold know? duran duran
  
  
• god is a bullet / free / little wing concrete blonde
  
  
• tesla girls O.M.D.
  
  
• aliens ate my buick thomas dolby
  
  
• milk (remixes) garbage (vs massive attack)
  
  
• kings of the wild frontier adam and the ants
  
  
• (we don't need this) fascist groove thang heaven 17
  
  
• going back to cali LL cool J
  
  
• shine crime + the city solution