2005-06-06 - 10:14 p.m.

i've been moody and depressed, at least since i woke up drunk on sunday morning. waking up drunk is a very very bad sign. it usually is the harbinger of a terrible impending hangover.

i was riding high saturday night, when i took my friend to poker night at the chess champion's house. i handily won the first tournament, and he won the second. many of the folks at the champion's loft were fellow chess players and are all enthusiastic poker players. but to me, it seemed like they were playing a little too much by the book. i'm all instinct even when i'm not moody and it seemed almost too easy to take their money. of course, i was knocked out first in the second round, so my theory could be total bullsh*t.

collectively, my friend and i won about $100, and he suggested we celebrate by spending some of it on scotch. we even convinced our friend x, another single malt enthusiast, to join us at the bar and get sh*tfaced with us. a good time was had by all, and unfortunately for me there was even a round of free drinks involved.

the three of us drank until closing and my friend and i walked x to her loft, only a couple of blocks from the bar. she suggested my friend walk me home or at least put me in a car as i was clearly trashed. he balked visibly at this responsibility and i stormed off in a huff. in the end, he did get me home, but then i got very confused. part of my keychain had fallen off at the chess champion's loft and at first i couldn't find my keys. he asked me if he could leave while i searched drunkenly for my keys and then i started yelling at him. in the end, he made me empty my pockets, which is where my housekeys were buried, and roared off in his vehicle while i stewed in embarrassment and resentment.

i did manage to rouse myself for a brunch with cb, who does not drink and found my hangover at least semi-amusing. we talked about how hopeless we feel about ever finding love. in the end i was more depressed and i got on the wrong bus back to my end of williamsburg. i had to get off the 43 at its next stop and by the time i did the 61 was already pulling away from the initial stop. i started to walk home but it was about 90 degrees F outside and i ended up waiting for the next 61. i spent all sunday cooking food for myself and putzing around the house and watching videos and moping moping moping.

tonight, i walked back from chess club in the rain, yet another video in hand, mooning over my emotional misfortune. just as i walked in the door, i got a txt message from x saying she was playing video games in her underwear at a bar on the east side.