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SOTU drinking game, 2008 - 2008-01-27
little light - 2007-12-19
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why 'grease' is a perfect LA movie - 2007-12-17
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2004-05-21 - 9:32 a.m.

do you ever get the feeling that you could achieve so much more, if only you would stop stopping yourself? i'm really stuck in one of those patterns right now.

L was in from california and stayed with me two nights in a row. we had a lovely time together, it was like a 48-hour slumber party. she had lots of attention for my emotional messiness and seemed to take it in stride. we drank wine from all over the world. we went to the biennial. we ate sushi as if it were junk food.

i'd planned to stay home wednesday after partying out with L two nights in a row. but ms. r phoned me at about 1a and insisted i join her at the next whiskey bar. i rarely refuse such an offer. we closed the speakeasy over glasses of lagavulin, planning art projects, gossipping about friends. when i arrived home at 4a i managed to leave my keys in the door and went to bed. someone took them.

needless to say, when i discovered this fact in the morning, i panicked. i called locksmiths until i got a nice orthodox man to come over and change the locks. i had to figure out how to get into the studio, since the men with big trucks were meant to come and pick up the machines. the metal shop guys let me in to the main space, although i couldn't get back to my painting studio. it didn't matter anyway because the driver brought a 40-foot truck which could barely wedge down the one-way street.

c called and meant to come over last night, but had to cancel due to working late. he rescheduled for the weekend. i didn't mind as much as i normally would, since i was still tired and crabby. z is just back from texas and we went out for a glass or two. while we were trying to straighten out his life, cb called me. there were some vague apologies and references to hibernation and depression, which frankly made me impatient. i told him he ought to take me out, to which he responded that maybe he and z and i could get together next week. z and i giggled over that plan while we smoked and sipped vin santo on my couch later. last time the three of us got together cb couldn't keep his rough hands off of me.

i was woken this morning by a phone call saying a locksmith was around the corner, could i provide the exact address? i'd forgotten to cancel the other locksmith i'd called. i apologised profusely but the dispatcher still wished me a good day in an unmistakably sarcastic tone. and i got an email from the gallerist worried about the mermaids, begging me to stop in at the mermaid bar last night. perhaps there will still be time to save those lovely ladies.