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2004-03-29 - 10:16 a.m.

i lived through saturday night's party at volume, but only just barely. if h yells at me one more time my head is going to explode. the whole show should have been an utter disaster, but somehow it turned out mostly okay, at least in the main room. donna summer rocked my little world with a banging set that mixed snippets of guitar rock into very fast tech-house. while he mixed the music on an old blueberry iBook, he danced around the stage like a drunken idiot and heckled the audience. i danced until my feet hurt.

so i babysat the austrian on sunday and tried to pull my head together. i was at sunday night's party by 9p, but i was the first one there. h yelled at me while i was on the phone with my father. noone came out to trash except for the artists and their friends. which was fine with me, because i really didn't need my job to be any harder. catriona shaw and dj mooner spun records while philip q set up his elaborate music robot: an astonishing number of ancient keyboards, modulators, and various devices which collectively took up the space of a small love seat. there were so many powerstrips linked to one another onstage i'm certain it represented a fire hazard.

philip q seemed too delicate and fragile to have even travelled across the atlantic. i later discovered he was just really really stoned. when he switched on his machines and started playing i was overwhelmed. if f could have seen me enjoying the blistering wall of sound i know he would have had a conniption fit. but it was incredible, i could feel the vibrations of the music in my skin, under my clothes, in my bones. he yelled into a mike over the thumping sounds but the lyrics were not intelligible. everyone in the room was just sort of standing in front of the stage, slackjawed. i'm at a loss for words to describe his performance, but it was mindblowing.

later, i slamdanced with electronicat and drank too much guinness. catriona promised me a couch to crash on in berlin. patrick puhlsinger flirted harmlessly with me and let me bum too many gauloises. i bought philip q a gin and tonic.

i drifted out into the night high on my guinness-for-dinner strategy. i can't stand h and can't work for her anymore, but i'm glad i got to meet so many amazing musicians. it's ironic that living with f for three years gave me such a taste for experimental german techno, because i'm naturally such a house person.