2004-02-11 - 4:41 p.m.

easy party rules which were reconfirmed for me on saturday, when my housewarming party turned into a huge makeout session

• you can find out in seven minutes if someone is a good kisser.

• always hide the nicest bottle of wine you have left at midnight.

• make the smokers smoke outside. then follow them (because the cutest boys always have cigarettes, and it's always easier to flirt with something in your mouth).

• make sure that anyone undesireable or mean or icky is either coupled up or on their way out the door by midnight. otherwise they will be a vibekiller.

• the cutest boy at the party will always hook up with the unlikeliest partner.

• always serve fingerfoods. snacks that require plates or utensils will encourage people to park at a table and cease mingling.

• start a dance party in the kitchen to clear out the shy people hiding there.

• assign music duty to the coolest un-single person in attendance.

• provide a case of mineral water to prevent puking drunkeness. also, it helps get red wine stains out of most materials.

• sneak off with the cutest single boy left standing at 3a.