2003-12-29 - 12:01 p.m.

regular readers surely know i have a love/hate relationship with my hometown. i'm currently on the cusp of an unprecedented fourth straight day at my parents' home deep behind the orange curtain. i'm surprised to report that i've had a lovely time here.

it might be the coffee, or the steam room, or that fact that my parents will soon move from this godforsaken corner of purgatory; but everything took on a rosy glow this weekend. i watched movies with my parents. i did the annual post-christmas ravaging of the chanel counter with my mom. i went on a surprisingly sentimental date with a boy i broke up with fourteen years ago. i watched the sunset over catalina island from the cove at laguna beach. i worked out at my dad's luxury gym every morning and lost two pounds. i killed two pitchers of margaritas with an extremely christian high school friend and her new fiancee. i watched more 'newlyweds' and 'dr. phil' and '90210' reruns than anyone has a right to. cable television is like crack cocaine to me.

in just a few hours i'll have every inch of my person inspected for explosives at LAX. i'll fold myself onto an american airlines flight and head back to brooklyn. believe me, after the sanitary calm of southern california, i can't wait for the industrial wasteland i call home. but i actually enjoyed myself here in my hometown. probably for the first time in twenty years.