leave me a note!

mail me

photo blog

human-scale chess project

poetry project

my paintings

T A N G E R I N E A L E R T

effortless

johnnie utah

newest
archive
diaryland

< - >

SOTU drinking game, 2008 - 2008-01-27
little light - 2007-12-19
hamburger phone - 2007-12-18
why 'grease' is a perfect LA movie - 2007-12-17
recipe: barley treasure - 2007-10-12

2003-04-27 - 12:16 p.m.

do you ever get the feeling that you life-plan needs serious revision?

last night i went to a friends' open studio. huge spaces, clean, organised, huge paintings looked very professional, well-loved. these boys have jobs and everything but take the painting part very seriously. and it shows. i was overcome with a benevolent jealousy. i don't take my artwork seriously enough! my studio is dark, cluttered with the accoutrements of my side business, no natural light. not really enough light for painting at all, since the electricity is so screwed up. i need to get out of there. i may need to sell off my business. on a deep level i am not at all happy about the way my studio and my artistic life is working out.

on the other hand, i started a band with my friend at the beginning of this year and it kick so much ass. i love what we've been producing and it seems so effortless to do. there isn't a lot of pressure, yet we haven't missed a single scheduled rehearsal.

i need less effort in my life. i need to be applying the force of my formidable will to less things. i want to do what comes naturally. if i even know what that is.