2003-04-08 - 9:31 a.m.

i sometimes worry that i'm not obsessive enough. i let things slide, gloss over important details, procrastinate. but sometimes i worry that i'm way way too obsessive. i become paranoid, lurk, winnow every little detail down to a bloody nub. maybe i'm just obsessive about the wrong things. the things i'm obsessing about today, for example, i really need to just turn my back on and let go of. can i? is there a yoga pose i can do that will make that easier?

horrible sleep last night. my partner was up and bopping arond the house sleeplessly and our loft just isn't that big. then at about 6 am the roof started leaking. the winter snow has taken a toll on our roof and we live on the top floor. good thing he was watching a movie on the couch or he would have been splashed unpleasantly. after setting the pots in the appropriate places, leaving a message for the landlord, and finally curling up on the couch, i had an incredibly disturbing dream about my family. the kind of dream that i know my therapist will have a field day with.

i'm too agitated to sleep now. and too tired to do anything else. feeling cranky and unloved and pissed off about the fucking snow. and daylight savings time: what a scandal!